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A new*, fun, will try to become a regular feature, post

December 22, 2008

(*It’s only new to me. Many others have been willing participants for quite some time now. As usual, leave it to me to be the last one to follow the trends.)

So, here’s the deal: one of my favorite blogging moms, MckMama My Charming Kids has a cathartic and fun(ny) way of getting (crazy, weird, embarrassing, etc.) stuff off your chest and sharing it with the rest of the blogging world, called “Not Me! Monday”.

Lord knows I ALWAYS have moments to contribute, so for the first time I will join the massive ranks of other Mamas out there and attempt to show the rest of your inquiring minds just how painfully flawed and funny my weeks as a Mama of three fantastic little ones and wife to one wonderful husband can be. Here goes!

I did not just give my children lollipops at 8:15 in the morning so that I could sit at the computer and type this out. And they are not still coming into the office to report back every single little detail of what is going on in the house “RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, MAMA!”

Christmas is upon us… I did not start my shopping just this week because of the GIANT snow storm that seems to be sitting on top of our lovely state of Washington (and the rest of the country, it seems. Thank you global warming.).

I did not REALLY enjoy my last two nights of shopping by myself -even if it was entirely for the kiddos. (I so don’t love playing Santa!)

I most certainly did not “woo-hoo” out loud in my SUV as I was driving on the snow covered roads with our not brand, spankin’ new snow tires that I don’t totally love! **Side bar: I will not give a big shout out to my Dad who taught me, a million years ago, to drive safely in the snow so now I get to sit back and enjoy the ride, and occasionally exclaim “woo-hoo!”** Only when I’m by myself, of course. Because that would actually not be a good example to set for the three young and impressionable minds that usually occupy my backseat.

Shopping at Christmas. You gotta love it. Such a cross section of one’s community is shown. Whoa. While standing in line FORnotEVER, waiting to take our annual Santa photo, I SO did not stare at the rear end of a very largish lady in front of us who was not clearly wearing pants that were at least three sizes too small for her. What is it about that kind of train wreck that I just can’t look away from? It’s so detrimental to my psyche, not to mention, you know, RUDE.

I also absolutely did not find myself at the mall, in the parking lot with my three little ones, the smallest of whom did not decide he needed to nurse and would wait until we got home, and then the medium one did not proclaim, in no uncertain terms, that he had to pee “RIGHT NOW” and no he “CAN NOT HOLD IT TILL THE BABY IS DONE!!!” I SO, SO, SOOOO did not then open my car door with my baby still attached to me, let my middle child climb over us from the backseat, open the back door (for some ‘privacy’, of course), and then tell him to pull down his pants and pee in the mall parking lot -just please don’t pee on the car next to us.

I would NEVER, in a thousand years, do something as hideously embarrassing as that and then, to top it off, only AFTER it was all said and done, remember to look around to see if anyone was within sight or earshot. Oh. My. Goodness. I would NEVER.

And on that note I shall end this first edition of Not Me! Monday. I hope you all enjoyed!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Shaybplus3 permalink
    December 22, 2008 9:28 pm

    That was awesome and amazing! Great first time Not Me Monday!

  2. Shaybplus3 permalink
    December 22, 2008 2:28 pm

    That was awesome and amazing! Great first time Not Me Monday!

  3. Following Him permalink
    December 23, 2008 1:09 am

    Great Not mes. Gotta love the holiday season! Merry Christmas!
    ~Elyse~

  4. Following Him permalink
    December 22, 2008 6:09 pm

    Great Not mes. Gotta love the holiday season! Merry Christmas!
    ~Elyse~

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